Fever Dreams and Gordon Ramsay

It is no surprise that I have been sick with cough and cold for a while now and this blog would be how my family finds out.

Hi mummy, papa and Aneesh (+ other family members) 👋🏼

Ever since I moved to Berlin, I have been sick. I don't know if it is the Berlin rental market, my weird part-time job, or overcrowded public transportation that has made me vulnerable to colds, chills, coughs, and fever. On the other hand, I believe it is a self-inflicted problem that I put myself into because, for the longest time, I went around boasting to other people about how I had not fallen sick in 2-3 years, and then things started happening.

BOOM!

In a way, I did this to myself. I deserve this.

One interesting thing about falling sick is having fever dreams, and I have been having loads of them every time I put my head down to sleep. The cherry on top is that Alex and I have been binge-watching all the episodes of Kitchen Nightmares on YouTube, which has resulted in Gordon Ramsay visiting my fever dreams quite often. He comes, talks nicely, and shows me how to make pasta, which is all fun and games until we make pasta again and again, the whole night. The same words, the same methods, and the same scene: recurrence is the common symptom of a fever dream, and unfortunately, Gordon and I are stuck in one together.

According to this TIME article: https://time.com/5603196/fever-dreams-science/

Fever dreams in a loop occur because our minds are too heated up due to the fever, which makes the weird, unrelated dreams reoccur. Still, making the 150th batch of pasta with Gordon is no fun, is it?

One night when Gordon was taking a break in my fever dream and not helping me make pasta, my toxic manager (who has now quit her job) showed up. My mind immediately hated it; I would rather make my 106th batch of pasta with Gordon than talk to this insane person, but as your fever dream seldom gives you the power to control the narrative...

Next thing I knew was that I was tossing turning in my bed, longing for the pasta class and resisting this fever dream.

But my manager was here to dance on the hot plate of my burning mind, reminding me of everything I wish to forget when I log off. However, the pure defiance of my body has led me to wake up at 4:00 AM, drink a glass of water, and take medicine for fever to sleep like a baby.

And I did . .

My resistance broke my mind's loop of fever dream, my pasta class with Gordon ended, and I realized that you can really dislike someone so much that you can pull yourself out of your body's natural state and challenge it to change.

So long Gordon.